Forum Replies Created
-
Posts
-
Hi JoAnn! Thanks for this update. I’m glad to hear that you’ve had the opportunity to work from home, like you’ve always wanted to. And in a way, it’s very clarifying to realize that working from home hasn’t made you like your job any more.
It sounds like, while you appreciate a LOT of things about your job (the stability, the flexibility, the people, etc.), you’re just never going to enjoy the actual work. And if you decide that’s a dealbreaker, that’s OK! Feeling bored by your work (to the point that you’re fighting sleep during the day!) is very draining, and that just might not be sustainable much longer for you.
I would spend 15-20 min a day exploring other work-from-home jobs, and just see what’s out there. You don’t have to apply for anything yet, if you’re not ready for that step. But it might be eye-opening to see what else is out there! You might be surprised to find that there are several things you could do that would be more interesting. Plus, there are LOTS more remote-work jobs now — not only did many jobs become remote because of COVID, but several of them have stayed remote. So even if you’ve looked for work-from-home jobs in the past, you might be surprised to see how many more options are available now.
Hopefully seeing other possibilities will make you feel hopeful that you CAN find work that’s more interesting, without giving up your freedom of working at home, on your own schedule.
Hey Amy! No kidding, it’s been a wild and strange few months, hasn’t it? And I don’t think any of us could have predicted just how much everything in the PPVE would be needed (and tested!) when we were wrapping up the course a few months ago. I’m glad that your CDFs have proven so useful in your job search, especially in the middle of this pandemic. And it’s cool that you’ve found multiple jobs that feel like 9s!
Great question about how to explain in an interview why you’re looking for a new job right now, and why you’re leaving your current job. I have a couple of thoughts:
— First, I think you could answer with a version of what we describe in the “What to ask in an interview” worksheet in the Dream Job Bundle. Essentially, you could share a couple of your values and say you’re looking for work that better aligns with those values. That way, your answer focuses more on what you’re moving toward vs. what you’re moving away from.
— Also, I think you can very much lean on the COVID crisis, at least in terms of “why now.” You already mentioned how working during a pandemic has given you a lot of insight into what you do/don’t want job-wise, so a lot of clarity has come out of this. Plus, when life is shaken up in such a dramatic way, it’s only natural to start asking yourself the big, existential questions like, “Am I living my purpose?” and “Does my current life/career still fit me?” and “What changes do I want to make?” And your answers to those questions have led you to the kinds of jobs you’re applying for now. I think that’s a very compelling story to tell in an interview!
I hope that’s helpful! I’d love to hear how your future interviews go. 🙂
Hi JoAnn! Thanks for this update!
I’m glad you’re realizing just how much you enjoy working from home. This pandemic has been very clarifying for things like that! It’s making it more obvious to all of us how we prefer to work, and that’s info that will serve us long after it’s over.
It sounds to me like this job is hitting on a lot of your Thriver values: good company, good pay, flexibility, the ability to work from now, and liking the people you work with. The work itself isn’t very exciting to you, and it can be a bit complicated, but as you said, you’re still quite new to this field and still learning, which is normal. So eventually it will seem less complicated as well.
My take is that, based on what you said you’re most interested in right now — “I’m not looking for a career perse, just a way to make money to live and fund my life after work at this point in my life” — this seems to be fitting that description, for now at least. I would absolutely suggest that you keep your eyes/ears open for other possibilities that might become available that offer similar benefits for more interesting work, but it doesn’t sound like you’re desperate to leave this ASAP because it’s mostly working well for the Thriver part of you.
That said, I do think that when you’re getting a lot of needs met from your job, but not all, then it’s especially important to get those needs met outside of work. For example, if work is giving you stability, freedom, and reliable income, but not stimulation and excitement, it’s even more important to get stimulation and excitement in other areas of your life to balance it out.
Hope that helps! Glad to hear you’re faring OK during this pandemic!
Stacey — WOW, you’re right, I DO love that story so much, for multiple reasons!
1) The option that felt like the “financially safer” choice is the one that dissolved as soon as there was a crisis — so much for safety, right? (Proof that our limiting beliefs aren’t always accurate!)
And 2) you were already leaning toward the option that aligned better with your CDFs and your desire to work more on your business, and then the universe validated that choice by literally removing the other option altogether. I love when the universe doesn’t mess around and makes things abundantly clear like that!
Also, kudos for getting and starting a new job during this pandemic and proving that yes, people ARE still hiring right now. I know a lot of my clients feel like they have to completely give up the job search right now, so it’s great to see an example of someone starting a new role even in the midst of all this chaos.
Thanks so much for sharing, and congrats on this job that seems like a great fit all around!! Stay safe out there and enjoy the new job. 🙂
Hi JoAnn!
It’s perfectly understandable that you haven’t been working on the program lately — it feels like the world has gone topsy turvy practically overnight, and we’ve all been doing our best to adjust to this new temporary reality!
I’m so happy to hear that your new organization feels like a much better fit with your Thriver values. And it’s actually kind of great that you’re liking this job MORE now that you can do it from home. It sounds like you always suspected that you’d love working from home, and now you have proof that it really does suit you! It makes me wonder if you can ask to work from home more often, even once this crisis is over, because you’ll have proved that 1) you CAN do the job just as well remotely, and 2) you’re actually much more motivated to do good work when you can work from home.
Thanks for this update! I love hearing that this program (and our podcasts, too!) have been helpful in giving you some deeper self-awareness and figuring out how to apply that in a helpful way to your life/career.
And yep, you can certainly reach back out with follow-up questions/updates. The “PPVE Grads” thread of this forum is a great place to come back and stay in touch over the coming weeks/months.
Stay safe!
Hi Sacha! I’m going to respond to both of your messages here. 🙂
First of all, I’m so glad you’re loving the group dynamic! It’s so validating to feel like there’s a whole group of people who “gets you” and feels the same about a lot of things, right? I’m glad you’re getting your CDF of “connection” met in-part through this group!
I agree that you’re probably mostly a Thriver, based on a lot of what you described, but there is that small Side-Hustler part of you that loves ideas and possibilities and variety. So it’s important to make sure both of those sides of yourself are getting nurtured! When you’re *mostly* one Profile (for you, that’s Thriver), it’s sometimes easy to ignore your secondary profile. But now that you recognize that you have a splash of Side Hustler, you can make sure that part of you has some ways to express itself.
I love that you’re been re-establishing your own, new relationship with your money since the separation from your husband. It sounds like you’re already using your money in ways that align with your CDFs and that feel good to you, so kudos on that! And I really, really like the way you defined “wealth” to you — and especially how you took it to the next level and considered how much you’re acting on each part of that definition. You had way more +’s and 1/2’s than -‘s, so that’s awesome! Just a couple of categories to shift your attention to, but a lot of it is maintenance or slight tweaks.
OK, and I freaking LOVE this concept of the “anti-GAIL” that you described! My first instinct is to want to call it your Higher Self, because that loving, supportive, helpful voice is the REAL you, finally breaking through all of the GAILs. You could also call it your “Kind Self” or your “Inner Cheerleader” or anything that makes you smile. But keep in mind, that’s not really a separate voice — that’s just the true YOU finally getting a word in edgewise. Isn’t it such a beautiful feeling?? I’m so, so happy you’re starting to hear and appreciate that voice. And you’re VERY wise to want to give more of your attention to that, vs. to your gremlin.
Love this update! Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Of course you know all about Essentialism, by Greg McKeown, by now — Rachel and I consider it a must-read. This is the kind of book you’ll find yourself going back to again and again.
Here are some other books we love and recommend. Don’t feel like you need to read ALL of them (and certainly not all at once!). Trust your gut about which of these speaks to you most right now:
The 5 Love Languages, by Gary Chapman: This is a hugely popular, internationally bestselling book that has saved a lot of people’s relationships. It includes a quiz that both you and your partner can take that indicates your primary “Love Language,” which is the way you prefer to express and receive love. {This is another way of defining your value system, similar to how various people have a different Emotional Currency or different Core Desired Feelings.} Not everyone is wired the same way, and a LOT of people’s fundamental differences in relationships can be attributed to their having different Love Languages.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, by Mark Manson — We can’t recommend this book enough. As you can probably imagine from the title, this is a no-nonsense guide to living life more intentionally and caring less about things that don’t matter (or that you can’t change anyway).
E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality, by Pam Grout — If you want to bridge the gap between logic and spirituality, this is the perfect book to get started. You will be seriously amazed by the results of these experiments. Check out our Bonus Book Club episode on the podcast to hear us talk more about this book.
My Year With Eleanor, by Noelle Hancock — In this memoir, the author spends an entire year doing one thing every day that scares her. If you want to break through some GAILs and seriously up your courage, this book will be particularly inspiring.
The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks — This is about “upper limit problems.” In other words, the ways we tend to sabotage ourselves when things are going well in our lives, and how to prevent that. Really fascinating and useful!
A Return to Love, by Marianne Williamson — Also a hugely popular, internationally bestselling book. Marianne Williamson has been one of the most well-known and praised spiritual teachers for decades. This book is a culmination of the lessons she learned while studying “A Course in Miracles,” which is a spiritual text that she’s a master of. If you’re looking for something that will give you a lot of “aha moments” and truths about life and the way you see it, this is a great book to dive in to.
Let us know what you think of any of these books we’ve mentioned, and feel free to post your own recommendations!
Thanks for coming back to share more about your CDFs, Dave!
What a powerful realization about what’s missing at your current job. It sounds like your CDFs of “connection” and “space” are being fulfilled pretty well at this job, but the “stability” piece is just so-so (yes, there’s stability, but not enough to alleviate all financial anxieties), and “joy” and “integrity” are almost non-existent. So you’re *maybe* getting half of your CDFs met there, on a good day. It’s no wonder you’re not very happy! There’s definitely misalignment in some pretty significant ways.
On your way to finding something that’s a much better fit, though, it’s smart of you to be seeking ways to boost your CDFs outside of work, where you have a lot more control over how you spend your time/energy. You’re going to need to fill your CDF tank even more in your personal life, since work keeps draining it each day/week.
Speaking of finding the right next job, I’ll be curious to hear what you think about the “Job Searching According to your CDFs” exercise, when you get there. I’d love to know how that goes for you!
And yes, it’s amazing to see how many GAILs show up around money, right? We all pick up so many beliefs about money from our upbringing, and our own past experiences with money, which is why it’s so important to examine which of those beliefs are actually serving us and which ones are perpetuating unhelpful patterns. It sounds like, out of necessity, you’ve adopted your mom’s saver approach, but you’d prefer to have a healthy balance between saving and spending. If you haven’t done this already, I think it might give you some peace of mind to come up with your “enough” number for how much you’d have to make to feel stable and mostly at ease. Then that can inform your non-negotiables for the next job.
Thanks again for sharing what’s been coming up for you so far in this experience!
Hey Dave,
First of all, I really want to applaud your willingness to “dig deep” into your GAILs. I know it’s not the most fun way to start a program like this, but it’s so powerful to shine a big ol’ spotlight on the beliefs that are most holding us back. Because until you acknowledge what those deep fears are, you can’t overcome them, so you’ll just stay stuck.
It’s totally normal that your gremlin was like, “Whoa, hold up, don’t look over here!” But it shows a lot of inner strength that you kept digging and facing all of your GAILs head-on … and even posted a couple of gremlin dialogues here! Which were so great, BTW. I love how you acknowledged what the gremlin was saying, but didn’t take it *too* seriously and kept responding from a place of understanding, reassurance, and encouragement. Such great practice for responding in a much more productive, calming way when you gremlin has a momentary freak out.
As for your CDFs, I honestly think the ones you listed are great. I was already thinking that your descriptions of each were super powerful, and then you said, “These resonate with me in a huge way,” which tells me you’ve hit on some really core things here. Will this be the final list that you use forever and ever? Who knows! These may evolve over time, or you might find yourself adding new feelings or letting go of others, and that’s a normal part of the process. But I wouldn’t stress too much over whether these are the deepest level of CDFs you can access. If there are deeper levels of these, they’ll reveal themselves in time. But for now, this list is going to be hugely helpful in determining your next steps.
I’m curious, how much of each of these CDFs are you feeling on a normal daily basis? What are some small things you can do to boost each of these?
Oh and yes, I definitely think you can move on to the money video with the work you’ve already done on your CDFs.
Thanks for sharing your experience so openly and committing to this process. You’re making huge strides already, and we’ve still got plenty to go! 🙂
Hey everyone! Here are the books that we recommend related to money …
You’ve heard us talk about Money, A Love Story by Kate Northrup because it’s our absolute favorite book about money, so we definitely recommend checking this one out. I really encourage you to work through the exercises she gives you in the book — they’re a really powerful way to get more conscious about your relationship with money.
Here are a couple of other books you may want to check out:
Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki: This book will absolutely change your mindset about money and help you define your definition of wealth (and learn how to actually get it). Plus, it’s actually an entertaining read — which is saying a lot for a book about finances! The Cashflow Quadrant, which we mentioned in the Week 3 video, came from this book.
Money: Master the Game by Tony Robbins: This book is a must-read if you’re interested in the “Investment” quadrant of the Cashflow Quadrant. It’s really everything you need to know to get into the investment game, even if you don’t have a ton of money to spare.
Also, Barbara Stanny is a brilliant financial expert that you may want to check out. She’s written great books like Overcoming Underearning and Sacred Success.
A few more recommendations:
If you’re interested in investing, but want to do it in a super low-key, low-risk way, Acorns is a great entry point for investing. It’s set up to invest the leftover spare change from each transaction you make on your debit/credit card, so it makes investing easy, accessible, and automated.
You Need a Budget is another great tool for getting super intentional about where your money is going. It’s a unique budgeting platform because, instead of having a static budget each month, it allows you to allocate money as it comes in. So every time you get paid, you can assign each dollar a “job” and make your money really work for you.
