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The presentation went very well. But I just found out that it won’t “replace” getting interview feedback that I don’t want. >_< UGh…come ON God…do a lady a solid and get me that new job.
I started listening to the podcast. I’m on the episode about not liking my team but loving the job. The situation described is EXACTLY what I find myself in. I’m on a small team and ONE person ruins it all. And she’s my manager. -___- Not all the way through, but I’m feeling better about my gut feelings and not that I’m “too sensitive” or should tough it out.
Giving my presentation on the training I’ve been developing for the team. It’s my compromise for not taking an interview review. My anxiety about it is higher than usual.On the other hand, I’ve been enjoying video production for my sewing tutorials. I’m really hoping I can get this off the ground and make it my method of financial support. Still looking for other technical writing positions.
Howdy do! Glad I’m not the only one posting here. XD
I recently finished reading the book: The One Thing by Gary Keller: https://www.the1thing.com/
For me at least, it’s taught me how to say “no” to things that detract from my priority and to start thinking in different terms for managing my overwhelming number of projects.Europe sounds like it was a lot of fun.
Thank you.
Apparently, there was genuine concern about me when I didn’t want feedback from the folks I interviewed with. (Which is fair…it did trigger some serious depression and anxiety in me.)
Still don’t want the feedback though. 🙂Anyway as a kind of middle ground, I am presenting some of the training materials I created for new teammates to my director and will invite the training team too. I’ll get feedback on that instead of the interview thus not burning bridges and making my manager happy-ish.
I still hate how I’m being pressured into this whole feedback loop thing. (Come on universe recruiter, get me something good!)
Thoughts on feedback loops. My manager was pestering me to “chat about following up with the team” that I didn’t get a position with. I asked not to have formal feedback. I refused the meeting with my manager again citing that “I’m not ready for this yet”. Got this email (paraphrased):
Ok. I would encourage you to reach out to (person) and let him know that you want to have a less formal feedback meeting with him once your schedule frees up and you have some time to process the feedback. And ask him if there’s anyone else he thinks you should mention that to.
The actual meetings don’t need to be right now, but I think you should make it clear to anyone who is aware that you rejected the feedback meeting that you aren’t just rejecting feedback altogether, which would potentially hurt future considerations. And you don’t want to put it off so far that nobody can give you actual clear feedback. It happened to (my husband) a couple of times, and it’s maddening since then you don’t have anything you can improve on.
>_> The thing is I kind of am rejecting feedback altogether. And I know on a logical level that this could be good. But I’ve pretty much given up on staying with this company and have contacts with outside companies. Both of which might be 9 or 10 type positions. (One is a writer position for customer support for one of my favorite game companies. ^^)
I’m emotionally shot at this point and probably won’t be back for several weeks. I’ve also started a Keto diet which has been torture today because the company provided FREE COOKIES. ;____;So part of me thinks, yeah I should talk to them but then I’m like “I didn’t get the job, does learning why really help me? The result is still the same. There’s not going to be a next time.” I don’t want to add to my anxiety and emotional stress.
Thoughts?
One of my favorite quotes lately has been “Pray like everything depends on God, work like everything depends on you.” As someone particularly religious naturally I do offer many things up to that higher power.
Thanks so much for the support.
I was just informed that yet again, I did not get the position. I’m not as disappointed this time but I did ask to not have a feedback loop. That would include my manager and I really don’t need to arm her with more ammo to shoot me down with.
I was contacted to schedule another phone interview with a company that contacted me ages ago.My confidence has been taking a lot of hits lately. Trying to get a job that gets me just 10k more a year has felt impossible. I keep getting bad contract offers or lower salary offers to jobs I apply to. Not finding a lot of 9 or 10s lately. BLEH.
Luckily, I have therapy this week so I can get a boost from my therapist. I’m also making progress with my videos slowly but surely.Thanks so much for continuing to let me rant here. I think it’s almost been a year since I did the course!
Thank you Rachel. I just finished my presentation and I think it went pretty well. I generally think I’m good at presenting…I have spoken as a keynote speaker. (I practiced what I would say! ;)) At least I can pull off being confident even if I was thrown a barrage of questions. I feel like I had a good rapport going with the group too. Now the challenge is to do what you suggest and not nitpicking every little thing and trying to suss out how I wrong I was.
Keeping my mind off things is hard. 😛 But I’m going to cheat on my diet today and get a cupcake. And yeah, I’m sure I’ll find out if it is a good fit.
Back from vacation. I made it to round 2 of the interview which involved the folks I’m interviewing with to call me during my vacation and assign me a project which I present tomorrow. Now, I’m just pissed that half my vacation was spent working around this interview process, doing a project when I NEEDED time away from work to not think about things. The position is a lot about pushing back and saying “no”…maybe I should have done that around my precious vacation time. LOL!
The interview itself went well enough to get me to round 2. The first 4 people I interviewed with I had a great rapport with. I was able to give past examples of ways I fit in this position and express my eagerness for it. The last guy (the head of the department and the guy who originally trained me. We call him coach) really brought the hard, squirm-in-your-seat, raise stress to fever pitch type questions. Basically, like an improv class. (Which I should take at some point). He gave me a hypothetical situation and asked to explain how I’d handle it. I was caught off guard and really didn’t have a good answer. Then he brought out a timer and asked me to teach him something new in 3 minutes. ;_; Luckily, since I’ve been working on a script about sewing machines I was able to parrot back and explain the basics of how a sewing machine works. (Apparently, he liked how I taught.)
He brought up that a lot of this is project management which I admitted was not an area I felt confident bragging about. Really it’s more that he was asking abstract questions and I’m better at the “tell me about yourself” or “give me an example of a time when…” type questions. Abstractly, I haven’t done project management in my mind. But reality, I have plenty of experience in my current role managing multiple projects and saying “no” and pushing back.
Today I had my one-on-one meeting with my manager in which I was complaining a bit about this whole process. She has been to the interview discussion with the team and said she’d have feedback but couldn’t say anything at the moment because the interview process isn’t done. Me being me, I have already analyzed my interview performance time and again. I know where I screwed up and could have done better.
I want to be on this team but the amount of stress this interview process is causing me is bringing me to my limits. I want to give up.
And I need another vacation to make up for this crappy one. -___-I keep posting here but I love this resource. Today I have an interview internally with the company I work at for a position on the Learning and Development team (internal training). Over the past year, I have been hoping to get a position on this team if I were to stay with the company. The position is an instructional designer which is a bit of a step beyond my current position, but totally something my education has primed me for. I have all the basic skills necessary for the position.
And in an effort to “help” me in my interview my manager wanted to give me some “tips”. I really wish she hadn’t because I WAS feeling confident in my skills, abilities and what I brought to the position. She just fed my gremlin so much by telling me who I was “competing with” and what they brought to the table. And also bringing up why I probably didn’t get the last position because the girl who got it put in “2000%. All this a day before the interview. Saying I should “prepare”. I had felt prepared but now all I’m thinking about is where my short-comings are. Like how I don’t have many recent examples of video work I’ve done. (I have been working on some for my YouTube channel.)
/sigh/ I know the people on the training team. I’ve taken courses from the head of the department about setting smart goals for my career and how to achieve them. My goal was to get involved in training. I have been slowly developing training material for my replacement. Had I NOT known that one of my competition makes how-to videos as a hobby, or one of them helped with training in the past, I would have felt much more confident going in.
Spending time now trying to pep talk myself back up to where I was and believe I can get this position. (Part of that was pretending I’m the only applicant with the best qualifications. But now I’ve been given evidence that I’m not!)
On the plus side, the YouTube course has been very helpful and encouraging. And next week I’m on vacation. 🙂
