[Amy M]

Hey all! These last few months have been pretty challenging, yet eye opening. Weird to have gone through all of these changes right at the cusp of finishing up the PPVE! Definitely has given me some perspective about what I don’t want out of a life and a job. (i.e. I LOVE working from home!!). During this time I have started searching for jobs that fit more of my core values and not just my title or degree. I came across 3 jobs that would definitely be 9s! I applied to one of them and even got an interview, but I didn’t get it unfortunately because another candidate had more experience/better credentials. Anyway, there are two more jobs I’ve been considering applying for (both of which do require my degree, but are not the same kind of work or working environment that I’ve been in for the last 12 years as an SLP in Special Education. One is even a remote position! Anyway…all this to say, when I had my last interview I was asked “Why are looking for a new job at this time?”. All I could think of was “I’m SO burnt out!” NOT a good answer I know, I think I ended up elaborating on how my interests have grown over the past few years and blah blah blah. I honestly don’t remember, but I’d like to be more prepared if this question comes up in another interview. What is a thoughtful response for this question when looking at a job that is VERY different from your current job and all of your past experiences?

[Amy M]

Ugh. I just finished listening to the Bonus episode and retook the Passion Profile Quiz just to make sure (and it was confirmed) that I am a tribe member. It’s interesting that the words at the top of the Tribe Member PDF: connection, stability, collaboration, fulfillment, because my CDFs that I established last week are: engaged, interested, purposeful, and balanced. And I have creativity as something I value. But ugh! I SO badly wish I was a Thriver. I almost have been trying to convince myself that I am a thriver these last 5ish years, as I’ve been considering getting out of my specialized field in education. But everyone (including my bf) thinks it’s crazy to leave a job that has so much time off (summer, holidays, snow days) etc and such good benefits. So every time I consider finding a way out (be it a different job, going back to school, or something sort of related but not the specific job title), I think I would be crazy to leave (because if you’re gonna hate your job, might as well work in a place where you only have to work 180 days/year). So I have told myself for several years now, just use all of my extra time to do the things I love, but to no surprise, I still haven’t done any of them (I haven’t started an etsy page to sell the things b/c i’m NOT a Side Hustler, I haven’t started my own practice b/c I’m not a Firestarter and, I haven’t signed up for the BBBS program or repurposed the furniture in my basement yet b/c I’m not a Thriver). Instead I sleep a lot from exhaustion/burn out, vent to coworkers and end up staying late b/c I didn’t do my work during work hours, complain (mostly to my bf) how frustrating my job is, or look online at different jobs that “might be better” but are still in the same field with the same title doing the same things. To be honest though, within the last year I have been a lot better at finding a work/life balance that keeps me energized/not feeling so burnt out, but I keep going back to the job and getting frustrated by the lack of collaboration, at the people who clock out at 3 and rush home to their (insert life choices), at the revolving door at the center of our department, at the lack of professionalism I see on a daily basis, etc. (which mind you people tell me you’ll find anywhere). So, I’m still figuring out what my next steps will look like. I am anxiously wanting to leave my current job and have already been told about two other jobs that basically are the same title but just at a different institution (one of which I’ve already worked at) and I don’t feel excited by. I also *might* have an opportunity to take on a lead role at my current job, but feel like I’ll just be frustrated by the same things as I am learning you can’t change people. And I found another position that uses my title and my experience but is an instructor position in higher education rather than a direct service provider position and *may* meet more of my CDFs, but would require more hours at work, aaaaaad it’s 2 hours away. So…as usual…I’m feeling meh.

[Amy M]

I hope this turns into an actual question.

Learning how to identify my CDFs has been mind blowing. I can see clearly now how/why my previous and current job situations have not felt like a good fit. I can make them “work” for a few years, but then get the itch that it’s just not right. Knowing my top 4 CDFs: balance, engaged, purpose, interested, I am able to identify ways to achieve balance and engagement in my current work/life situation, but it’s difficult to find ways to feel purposeful/interested. Years ago, I was not able to find ways to be balance or engaged either, but with counseling and identifying ways within the job to find engagement, I have been more successful. But no matter what job I’ve worked at (in my current field of special education), I haven’t been able to find it purposeful. Although many of my coworkers seem to be excited and/or find the job purposeful (as we are helping an underserved population), it continues to be difficult for me. Sure I can also find ways to make it interesting because I love to learn, but it’s nothing that keeps me interested for too long.

I so badly want to compare this to relationships. Second to my “baggage,” I have experienced several long term relationships that I wanted so badly to work, but never felt right in the end. Either they had nothing I wanted in a partner, or they had everything but I had nothing they wanted in a partner. We were just never a good fit. After going through counseling and learning about my baggage, how to manage it, what to keep and what to get rid of, I learned how to identify some characteristics that were non-negotiable in a significant other. I have now found a wonderful partner, who has most of my non-negotiables (well except one, but we are both aware of it and have identified ways to work with it), and some other qualities I didn’t know I needed. And to no surprise he was not “my type” from the start. Anyway, is it wrong to compare the two? Partners and jobs/careers. I find that with him, all of my CDFs I want out of a relationship are met, so it makes the less important qualities much easier to be around. (if that makes sense). Because deep down our core values are met, we can work around the little things and compromise better.

Have I gotten to a question yet? I guess I”m asking, is the “dream job” going to meet all of our CDFs? or will it only hit a few or should we identify non-negotiable CDFs and less important CDFs? And should we identify life non-negotiables, such as I only want to live here, so I only look for jobs here. vs. I want this type of job and can live wherever/am willing to move for it? Or can we find some of our CDFs like balance and engaged can be met at work, and then we can get involved in things outside of work that can make us feel interested and purposeful?

Thanks for listening. Any and all answers are appreciated.

[Amy M]

Thanks Rachel. Working through week 2 definitely helped and identifying some of my core desired feelings has given me more of an idea of what I can do right now in my current situation.

So here are my CDFs:
balanced – calm, structured, organized, consistent, comfortable, allows time for personal hobbies and relationships, provides opportunities for both growth and boundaries within the workplace
engaged – with my inner world, with nature, with personal/deep relationships, with learning, with a team of like-minded colleagues working towards the same purpose
purposeful – connected, meaningful, solving problems and moving forward for the betterment of all
interested – in information, in intellectual growth, in connection with like-minded people, in giving and/or seeking advice or mentorship

Although I am introverted, I definitely prefer working with a team of like-minded people. My inner tribe member shows. I am able to identify ways to achieve balance and engagement in my current work/life situation, but it’s difficult to find ways to feel purposeful/interested. Although many of my coworkers seem to be excited and/or find the job purposeful (as we are helping an underserved population)), I haven’t found it to be purposeful.

[Amy M]

Hey there,

I tried to write down my conversations with my gremlin, and I just got confused. It seems like my gremlin can talk myself into anything or out of anything, which then leads me to have NO idea what it is I actually want. For example, it can talk me into going back to school for something else, or it can talk me out of going back to school. It can talk me into why I MUST leave my current job, and it can talk me into why staying at my job might actually give me more freedom than I think. Seems like I’m stuck because I can talk myself into either (mostly because I have no idea what it is I actually want). I really struggle with understanding the difference between the fears that protect me vs. the fears that limit me. Trying to work on asking myself “What’s the worst case scenario?”, buuuuut I can’t wait for the coming weeks to learn how to navigate these conversations in a way that brings clarity.

[Amy M]

Hey Dianna. I’m in the same boat. I’m a Speech Language Pathologist and have been in education for 10 years and in the field for 12. It’s crazy how education has changed. The paperwork, the meetings, the parent pleasing, etc etc. Sometimes it feels like we don’t even have the opportunity to provide the students what they need. All my personality tests say I should be working in education, counseling, and/or speech therapy (believe it or not) too! So I hear you and you are not alone. I considered going back to school for a degree in mental health counseling, but as you stated it so well…”I’m worried I’d be exchanging one stressful and draining job for another.” Just wanted to encourage you and let you know you are not alone. Hope this course gives you the clarity you need for your future decisions.

[Amy M]

Hey there! Just wondering where I can find the interview of the associate coaches? i’m sure it’s in plain sight, but I can’t seem to find it. Unless they’re not helping this go around.

Thanks!

[Amy M]

I forgot to mention why I’m here. My job is just a job and comes with a lot of frustrations as the education system is quickly failing. I’ve considered starting a side gig (sewing simple/useful products) or going back to school for a second masters in textile design/fine arts, clinical counseling or library sciences (because why shouldn’t I love what I do right?). When I attempted this course 4 years ago, I was SO DONE with being an SLP after 10 years. Lately from listening to the podcasts, going to counseling, and doing my own self-discovery over the years, I’m leaning towards accepting my career as just part of what [doesn’t even] define me, and investing in my interests and hobbies that give me more fulfillment than anything else, but I’m worried that I’ll regret that decision when I’m further into the career and even more into the challenges of working in education.

[Amy M]

Hey there.

I’m Amy. I’m attempting this course a second time, as I was working through some mental health stuff during the first go around which ended up taking priority. I am an INFJ, Type 9 and Type 5 Enneagram, and a Tribe member (which all seem to contradict one another), so I’d like to sort some of that out here. I work as a speech language pathologist supporting students with Autism spectrum disorder, spend the majority of my time at home petting my cats, listen to podcasts all day every day, read self-help books, memoirs, and YA before bed, and attempt to make homemade gifts on my sewing machine with whatever time is left over.

Just looking to gain some wisdom from everyone through this process.

[Author]

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