Thanks for coming back to share more about your CDFs, Dave!
What a powerful realization about what’s missing at your current job. It sounds like your CDFs of “connection” and “space” are being fulfilled pretty well at this job, but the “stability” piece is just so-so (yes, there’s stability, but not enough to alleviate all financial anxieties), and “joy” and “integrity” are almost non-existent. So you’re *maybe* getting half of your CDFs met there, on a good day. It’s no wonder you’re not very happy! There’s definitely misalignment in some pretty significant ways.
On your way to finding something that’s a much better fit, though, it’s smart of you to be seeking ways to boost your CDFs outside of work, where you have a lot more control over how you spend your time/energy. You’re going to need to fill your CDF tank even more in your personal life, since work keeps draining it each day/week.
Speaking of finding the right next job, I’ll be curious to hear what you think about the “Job Searching According to your CDFs” exercise, when you get there. I’d love to know how that goes for you!
And yes, it’s amazing to see how many GAILs show up around money, right? We all pick up so many beliefs about money from our upbringing, and our own past experiences with money, which is why it’s so important to examine which of those beliefs are actually serving us and which ones are perpetuating unhelpful patterns. It sounds like, out of necessity, you’ve adopted your mom’s saver approach, but you’d prefer to have a healthy balance between saving and spending. If you haven’t done this already, I think it might give you some peace of mind to come up with your “enough” number for how much you’d have to make to feel stable and mostly at ease. Then that can inform your non-negotiables for the next job.
Thanks again for sharing what’s been coming up for you so far in this experience!