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Rachel East

Hi JoAnn,

I want to start with your comment about how “For some reason I have in my head that I should be lucky to have a job and nobody really “likes” their job,” and “I feel like I need to just suck it up.” Those thoughts definitely don’t sound like your own; I’m guessing they’re ones you inherited from parents or people around you, growing up. And again, that makes sense given the circumstances your parents grew up in. But we live in a very different world now, and plenty of people like (or love) their jobs, and it’s no longer an unreasonable thing to expect to enjoy your job.

It’s understandable that the thought of “starting over” feels daunting, and that you have no energy for it. Though I don’t think transitioning to another job has to be classified as “starting over;” it feels like a normal, natural thing to want to do if the work you’re doing now doesn’t satisfy you and “makes your skin crawl.” I’d hate for anyone to just decide “that’s how life is,” and accept something for many more years that makes them feel that way.

I think working from home could definitely make a difference in how you feel about your job, but it may not be a 180-degree change either. The setting would improve, but it sounds like the nature of the work would still be monotonous and not engaging, which seems to be a major problem for you. So, could it be that one of your CDFs is something like “Engaged” or “Stimulated” or “Interested”? Something that implies you feeling connected to and energized by the work you do?

Another way to think about this is: If your current job improved to the point where you were happy to say, what are the things that would have to change in order for that to be true?

Keep in mind that, as a mostly-Thriver, you don’t necessarily have to LOVE your job. But even Thrivers need a baseline of enjoyment! And while there are things you enjoy, like some of the perks, there’s enough that you don’t enjoy that’s making it hard to want to stay. There’s nothing wrong with feeling that way, and I wouldn’t want you to try to talk yourself out of how you feel just because you think you “should” be grateful or just “suck it up.” Telling yourself to suck it up isn’t going to change the reality of how you actually feel about your job. Giving yourself guilt-free permission to not like it means you create space to consider solutions or other opportunities. As long as you’re browbeating yourself for not liking it, you can’t move on, emotionally or literally!