Stacey — I have a feeling you’re not just a Thriver or a Firestarter, but a combo of both. (Rachel and I are the same way — we call ourselves “FireThrivers,” and I think you’re in the same camp.) BTW, if you haven’t yet watched the bonus video about Passion Profiles, I think that’ll give you even more insight into what it means to have two types. So it makes sense why you have seemingly competing desires for autonomy/freedom and stability. As a FireThriver myself, I can tell you it’s tough to balance the two sometimes, but it IS possible. It might mean structuring your business in a way that it brings in more stable, passive income, while giving you time/freedom to explore more interesting projects within the business. Or it might mean having a some steady part-time work so your business doesn’t have the pressure to make ALL the money, but it still gives your Firestarter room to explore. Just a few ideas!
Also, it’s totally normal to have fears about not having enough money, especially considering the messages you received about money growing up. And while being conscientious about your money certainly isn’t a bad thing, you’re right that it can certainly be taken too far and turn into anxiety, and it’s helpful to know the difference. I would recommend revisiting your GAILs, as they relate to money. What are your limiting beliefs, interpretations, assumptions, and gremlin messages about money? If you’re having trouble pinpointing them, or questioning them once you recognize them, feel free to bring them back to the forum for some help working through them.
Hope that helps!