Stacey, these CDFs are so powerful! I also love that feeling of immersion, and I like that it’s a composite of so many things for you. That’s a great sign that it’s a true CDF.
I know that you said you only need the “close” feeling in your personal life, not necessarily your work, and that’s totally fine! I do wonder, though, if we expanded the definition of “close” a bit, if you might want to feel close to the people you work with and/or the work itself? Not in the same way you feel close to the people you love most, of course, but just a sense of genuine caring. Just a thought! I’m always down for you finding more ways to feel how you want to feel. 🙂