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Amy M

Ugh. I just finished listening to the Bonus episode and retook the Passion Profile Quiz just to make sure (and it was confirmed) that I am a tribe member. It’s interesting that the words at the top of the Tribe Member PDF: connection, stability, collaboration, fulfillment, because my CDFs that I established last week are: engaged, interested, purposeful, and balanced. And I have creativity as something I value. But ugh! I SO badly wish I was a Thriver. I almost have been trying to convince myself that I am a thriver these last 5ish years, as I’ve been considering getting out of my specialized field in education. But everyone (including my bf) thinks it’s crazy to leave a job that has so much time off (summer, holidays, snow days) etc and such good benefits. So every time I consider finding a way out (be it a different job, going back to school, or something sort of related but not the specific job title), I think I would be crazy to leave (because if you’re gonna hate your job, might as well work in a place where you only have to work 180 days/year). So I have told myself for several years now, just use all of my extra time to do the things I love, but to no surprise, I still haven’t done any of them (I haven’t started an etsy page to sell the things b/c i’m NOT a Side Hustler, I haven’t started my own practice b/c I’m not a Firestarter and, I haven’t signed up for the BBBS program or repurposed the furniture in my basement yet b/c I’m not a Thriver). Instead I sleep a lot from exhaustion/burn out, vent to coworkers and end up staying late b/c I didn’t do my work during work hours, complain (mostly to my bf) how frustrating my job is, or look online at different jobs that “might be better” but are still in the same field with the same title doing the same things. To be honest though, within the last year I have been a lot better at finding a work/life balance that keeps me energized/not feeling so burnt out, but I keep going back to the job and getting frustrated by the lack of collaboration, at the people who clock out at 3 and rush home to their (insert life choices), at the revolving door at the center of our department, at the lack of professionalism I see on a daily basis, etc. (which mind you people tell me you’ll find anywhere). So, I’m still figuring out what my next steps will look like. I am anxiously wanting to leave my current job and have already been told about two other jobs that basically are the same title but just at a different institution (one of which I’ve already worked at) and I don’t feel excited by. I also *might* have an opportunity to take on a lead role at my current job, but feel like I’ll just be frustrated by the same things as I am learning you can’t change people. And I found another position that uses my title and my experience but is an instructor position in higher education rather than a direct service provider position and *may* meet more of my CDFs, but would require more hours at work, aaaaaad it’s 2 hours away. So…as usual…I’m feeling meh.