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Rachel East

Hey Amy,

It’s perfectly valid to compare careers/relationships! We do it all the time with our clients, and are planning a future podcast episode on that topic. 🙂

You ask a bunch of good questions, so let me dive in!

“Is the ‘dream job’ going to meet all of our CDFs? Or will it only hit a few?” — Sometimes a dream job can meet all of our CDFs! And sometimes a majority is more likely. The way I see it is that *nothing* in life is 100% perfect. Every job or partner comes with flaws. And expecting a job/partner to fulfill ALL of our needs is codependent, period! But I think the aim should be for 80% of your CDFs to be met, on average. 80% is a nice, high number! But it leaves room for that 20% of monotony, tedium, frustration, etc. that comes with any job or relationship. Basically, the 20% is the sh!t sandwich (can’t curse in this forum, BTW, or it won’t post your comment! lol) you’re willing to eat because the 80% is something you believe is truly worth it.

So when you then asked, “Can we find some of our CDFs like balance and engaged can be met at work, and then we can get involved in things outside of work that can make us feel interested and purposeful?” The answer to that is totally, yes! Again, I still think it’s best to aim for an 80/20 mix. BUT, keep in mind that your Passion Profile will have an impact on how important it is for your CDFs to be really strongly met through your work. If someone has any Thriver energy, they’ll probably be able to be content with fewer CDFs being met at work, but their CDFs getting met in their personal life will be even more important, because of that. More on the how Passion Profiles come into this in Week 3!

You also asked, “Should we identify non-negotiable CDFs and less important CDFs?” — We’re going to do an exercise in identifying career non-negotiables when we get to Week 4, so stay tuned for that (in short, though: Yes! It’s important to identify non-negotiables such as “I only want to live here,” or “I’m willing to live anywhere if it means getting to do X job, etc.”) But, in general, I think you can certainly rank your CDFs in order of importance if it helps you clarify what needs are most critical to be met! But keep in mind, the phrase “less important CDFs” is a little bit of an oxymoron, because the whole point of “core” in “core desired feelings” is that it’s integral to who you are. So I don’t want anyone trying to lessen the importance of their CDFs, if they don’t want or have to!