It sounds like you took this job for the same reason that SO many of us try new jobs — because we want something different, so why not give this a try? That’s SO normal, and yet, it can lead you into positions that aren’t aligned with you on a deeper level. That what it seems like is going on here for you. In your gut, this doesn’t feel right, but you’re not sure what to try instead. (Thankfully, we’ll be getting into that in the coming weeks!)
It’s also incredibly normal to care about what other people think of you and worrying if they’re judging you. I think we’ve ALL experienced that, and it can absolutely create social anxiety. If you haven’t yet watched the Week 1 live hangout, definitely check that out and pay extra attention to the part where we talked about “shitty first drafts” — I think you’ll really relate and find that helpful!
Thanks, as always, for sharing how what this is bringing up for you!