Sorry for the delayed response, but thank you both very much for your thoughtful replies! I talked about both of your perspectives with Shaun and he agreed about the stigma of video games, and said he liked your take (Kristen) as a personal development professional more than our therapist’s. (I wonder if it’s partially a generational difference?) We had a good conversation about the variety of activities that bring us joy – most of which happen to be undertaken together, so baking and video games are just the main things where we differ. But I agree that it wouldn’t make sense for him to go searching for a new hobby if he’s content with what he’s got now.
I did mention what I think you and Rachel have covered before about it not being necessarily healthy if stuff like TV is an escape that you use to avoid dealing with life…he said sometimes he thinks of video games as an escape but it’s not to the detriment of the rest of his life. He’s a functional adult and if I asked him to put a game on hold to help me in the kitchen he gladly would.
Our next therapy appointment isn’t until after the holidays so we’ve got some time to consider how to address his feelings from last time like you suggested. The perspective I am trying to take with advice or guidance we get (from any source, really) is that maybe it will make us think differently or help start a conversation we otherwise wouldn’t have started, but the only ones who can decide what feels right for our lives are the two of us. (Definitely keeping coaching in mind too – I didn’t quite feel ready post-PPVE to get started but I know it’s always an option for either of us.)
On a less important note, I totally meant to say hummingbirds rather than butterflies in my original post, but I’m sure you knew what I meant!