Reply To: PPVE Grads – Share your updates & stay connected

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Rachel East

Hey Mary!

First of all, you’re NOT back on square 1. And you never are, even if it seems that way. Think of life progress like winding your way up and around a mountain. There are times when the vantage point looks exactly the same, but you’re actually higher up. You THINK it’s the same; but you’ve actually made a lot of progress. That’s exactly what’s happening with you. Most of us can’t get what we want without falling on our butts over and over again. We build the strength we need to make the journey (physical or figurative) with all of the attempts that came before.

And it’s totally understandable that this is triggering you! I actually wrote a blog about this EXACT subject that’s coming out this Tuesday. Good timing! Make sure you read it. But, in a nutshell — Having a letdown of some kind (or a life transition, or ANY number of things) can trigger a spiral. It’s tempting to take our thoughts super seriously when we’re in a spiral. But they’re not accurate at all! The thoughts you’re having about not having any dates is a product of the disappointment and vulnerability you felt about this job situation; it’s not a reflection of your true self. It’s a symptom of an earlier disappointment. Keep that in mind! It’s so important not to take ourselves super seriously when we’re in a bad mood.

It’s good that you’re going to get the opportunity to see what you did well and what you could “improve” on. Have a filter up when you go in to that conversation, though. Obviously you want to be open to personal growth, but feedback is also very subjective. So remember that people’s feedback is, first and foremost, a reflection of what THEY value. If you want to take what they say to heart, fine. But if you don’t share their value system and don’t agree, then you don’t need to feel badly about yourself.

Keep us posted!