Hey Kelly!
I’m glad you’re enjoying the podcast! We’re having a lot of fun with it, and it’s so good to hear that people are getting a lot out of it. 🙂
So I want to reassure you that it is TOTALLY normal that you’re still in the process of searching for a job. Honestly, as frustrating as it can be, there is often no rhyme nor reason to the timing of these things. I’ve had people find the perfect job in 1 week, and I’ve had them report back after 2 years saying they finally found the right fit. Obviously none of us WANT things to happen slowly for us; but often in hindsight we look back and are grateful for the way things unfolded. Maybe we realize that we learned a ton and clarified a LOT, to the point that if we’d gotten a job sooner, it might not have been the best we could have imagined. Or maybe we weren’t as ready as we thought we were. Or the timing just wasn’t right yet–the perfect job wasn’t ready for US, because someone else hadn’t moved on or allowed that role to be vacated.
First and foremost, I think any job searching process is an ultimate test of faith. Can you believe in something that you can’t yet see, and aren’t sure actually exists? Can you allow yourself to get frustrated and downtrodden sometimes, but still rally and come back to a place of faith and belief in yourself over and over again? If so, that’s the kind of emotional “muscle-building” that life is all about. I don’t think that, as a rule, life is designed to give us what we want immediately (even though as humans we clearly wish it were). Because that would teach us absolutely nothing! And also, instant gratification is not nearly as satisfying as working your way toward something.
So, all of that is to say that you are on the path! You’re not doing anything wrong. You’re just in that “in between” phase where you’re putting in the solid, consistent effort that’s building toward a satisfying result. It’s OK that you don’t know when that result will manifest in real life, but I hope you’ll think of it as WHEN, not IF it happens. I think we bog ourselves down when we start thinking in terms of IF, rather than in terms of WHEN.
And as for more encouragement, think about how much you know about yourself that you didn’t know a few months ago! You know that you want to be in a learning environment. You know that you don’t want to be a teacher. You know that you need something oriented for a Tribe Member. You know you need to be making a more measurable impact. And you’ve taken that knowledge and are following the thread of curiosity — You’re taking some courses to brush up on your skills and volunteering. I know it’s frustrating to be putting in the work and not yet seeing any clear payoff; but that’s typically how this whole thing works! You plant the seed and tend to it consistently, and eventually it blooms into something you can see and touch. But even though you can’t yet see the “fruit of your labor,” so to speak, that doesn’t mean that nothing is happening!
It sounds like you’ve got a couple of assumptions/limiting beliefs popping up around this (understandably) — “I’ll need a master’s degree” and “The longer I was out the harder it will be to get back in.” It’s natural why you’d be anxious about that, because your brain has plenty of “evidence” that that’s “true.” But let’s question those a little. How true is it that EVERY job will require a master’s degree? How reasonable is that, really? And how true is it that EVERYONE will care that you’ve been out of the workforce for a while? How likely is it that someone might not care? Or that you might be hired by another woman who totally understands you being a mom and needing to have taken a break? Or that maybe they care more about hiring the right PERSON than hiring you for the consistency of your resume? Sometimes the best way to swat down GAILs is to poke holes in them. So try to poke some holes in these!
I hope this helps. I know how annoying and drudging this process can be. But you’re doing really well! And everything you’re going through is normal. Though I feel for you, none of this gives me pause or makes me worried that you’re doing something wrong, or won’t eventually end up where you’re meant to go. I have faith that you will! 🙂