Rachel,
As always, thank you for your thoughtful response. An objective opinion is always so helpful for me as I tend to get wrapped up in things quite easily.
I agree that I am probably putting too much pressure on myself to find something yesterday, and that causes a lot of anxiety. I feel like I’m in a bit of a catch-22. I just feel so mentally drained all the time that it’s hard to motivate myself to do things that I actually enjoy (and will get me into alignment – like yoga or painting). Most days I just want to go home, eat junk food, and watch Netflix or just sleep. So, in a way, I feel like I can’t get into alignment while I’m still in my current situation. Maybe I have a bigger problem that can’t be solved here, but I’ve done some therapy in the last year and found that to be of little help. I sometimes just feel like I can’t handle the same level of “life” that others can. I’m constantly overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done. I wish I could just hit a pause button and have a month to “catch up.” I think this is why I’m so out of alignment and why, when I do search for jobs, I have no idea where to focus my attention and get easily flustered.
I have definitely given some thought to the bridge job idea. I think it might be the way to go for me, but even then I have no idea what to look for in order know that I won’t be just as miserable in my bridge job as I am now. I’d really love to find something I could do from home, as I think that would help give me the space I need to feel more in alignment and have time to fit in exercise. I’d also be interested in a part-time job as a bridge job option (I do have a decent amount saved up), but then I worry about the lack of insurance.
In the meantime, I’m researching more online masters programs in conservation and even requested some information from an online program that works in conjunction with the zoo here in Denver. It’s exciting to read about the program, so that’s good I guess. I’ll keep researching and hopefully will get more information from the program.
Thanks again.