Hi everyone,
I need help. I have had a hard time finding a direction to go after the PPVE. I have been trying to look for remote or flexible jobs that are a support role, but I haven’t really found anything that sounds exciting yet, so I haven’t applied for anything. I went on a vacation last week, and while it was fabulous while I was there, since getting back I have been even more confused and depressed than before. I thought I would feel better having a complete break from work, but coming back has been very disheartening this week and I have no motivation. I am afraid I’m going to get myself in trouble with all of my procrastination and googling. I’ve been super anxious and just the thought of going to work for one more day gets me down. I even had a mini-anxiety attack on Monday and started hyperventilating.
I’m even more confused now because when I was on vacation, we spent some time in the jungle in Belize. It was the most incredible place and it reminded me of how much I used to care about animals and the environment. I even was brought to tears at one point thinking about how I was heading down that path (in college started in Natural Resources, but switched out), but chose another path because I was worried about making money and having a “real” job. I feel like I abandoned something that I really care about in exchange for materialism. Now I am just confused. I have been looking at some online master’s programs in conservation biology, but I don’t want to continue in my current job if I were to do an online program on the side. I have looked for some environmental/nature jobs on job boards, but feel like there is not much in my current location (I live in Colorado, how are there not wildlife jobs?). And I’m also confused because I do still love the idea of a work-from-home situation or more flexible hours. I just don’t know how to find a combination of these things.
Am I too focused on making my job my source of passion (I am a Thriver, but now my love of animals just seems to be in better perspective)? Do I just need to find volunteer projects and a part time job? Would I be able to make enough money? The thought of the master’s degree is exciting to me, but I’m nervous about the cost and how I would support myself during the program and what I would do when I graduate. On top of all of that, I don’t know what geographical location to look for a job and am afraid of getting one too far away from my current apartment, but I know that my boyfriend would like to move closer to his work in the next six months. I don’t want to find a job closer to his work until we live closer because I don’t think I could mentally handle the extra commute (we live much closer to my current job). But I don’t want to stay in my current role for another day. I guess I just feel like I’m going in circles and any kind of support would be great. Sorry for rambling and thanks to anyone that takes the time to read this.