Reply To: PPVE Grads – Share your updates & stay connected

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Kristen Walker

Hey Mary,

It’s no wonder you’re feeling senoritis at work! Internally you feel done with this job, but in the real outside world you have to keep showing up each day. And that’s just made worse by the fact that you’re actively looking and interviewing elsewhere, so you’ve already got one foot out the door. So it’s totally normal that you’re feeling kind of checked out!

And don’t get me started on your team lead who I’m sure was well-meaning, but was trying to shame you into dressing “fashionably, like all the other ladies at work.” My blood is boiling about that! I could understand if you weren’t adhering to the dress code and she felt like she needed to bring it up, but asking someone to be “more fashionable” is ridiculous and petty and, frankly, demeaning. I’m sure she meant it as helpful advice — the whole “dress for the job you want” adage comes to mind — and that would maybe be relevant advice if 1) you actually WANTED a position of leadership in the company, which you don’t, and 2) the leaders of your company actually wore more “professional” clothes, which they don’t. And it really irks me that no one seems to mind that the men are wearing jeans and t-shirts, but women are expected to “try harder” and care about fashion. It’s a bunch of crap. If you’re doing your job, and you’re wearing clean, appropriate, dress-code approved clothes, that’s all that matters. OK, end rant.

Anyway, I hope you’re not taking her comments to heart. She’s clearly projecting a lot of her own insecurities about appearance and worthiness onto you.

If nothing else, you’re getting more and more proof that this place isn’t the right fit for you, and the discomfort of that can create some serious motivation for doing what it takes to find a better fit.